When you see a georgous woman in a professional, recreational, or casual setting what are your first thoughts when you see her? What do you notice first? Most women are skilled in the art of perception. We can make you see, feel, and hear what we want; but one thing that cannot be manipulated is the impression she leaves on you. I think Maya Angelou said it best when she said " I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, But people will never forget how you made them feel."
To me that all perception really boils down to is how you make people feel when they come into contact with you. Or more commonly known as impression. Have you ever heard the phrase,you only make a first impress once? Sometimes making a speaking first impression isn't as crucial as making a visual first impression. In our society were judged on looks far more often than we are judged by the words that leave our mouths. At first glance some people think that they've got you completely figured you out; for example, your style of dress or way of speaking may cause people to believe that you are one way verses another. That assumption could be completely wrong; but again that's their visual perception of who you are, thus they "judge" based on that perception.
When it comes to work perfecting perception is crucial! From your interview to retirement you are being scrutinized for everything you do. For the contor of your speech to the style of dress you prefer. Employers need you to fit into a neat box in order to "fit" their office dynamic. It's your job to convince them that you do.
Being plus size creates a perception all its own, which is dangerously close to stereotypeing. It's easy to see a plus size person and make assumptions on their lifestyle based on exterior. This type of catogorizing affects the possibility of gaining employment, making connections with people, and present and future relationships. The fact is that the perception of plus size people is usually a negative one, which can impact one's day to day activities. For example, as previously stated I asked... When you see a georgous woman in a professional, recreational, or casual setting what are your first thoughts when you see her? What do you notice first? What If I added the fact that this woman is full figured? Does that change the amount of attention you give?
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What about this?
(The following are asked to people who are considered straight size, and their reactions to plus size stimuli, lol)
- If she was interviewing for a position in your company and was qualified; should you consider her weight an issue? Would you think she was a health risk, cost your companies HMO more money to carry her, would she be a lazy worker, or would you simply think she would me more susceptible to calling out? These are the types of worries full figured people face when daring to enter into the career game; that's why most start their own businesses.
- If you saw a gorgeous full figured man/woman would you flirt with that person? If everything about them just turned you on. Would you ask that person out in a date? Give them an invite to your friends get together, or family dinners? Some of you might answer yes to save face. But really if in that situation...would it still be yes? I've met people in real life (associates only! I've not dated them!) that are fine with sexing you (plus size person), ok with hanging out with you (because fat people are funny, entertaining, and confident); but won't interact with outside of a personal setting.
I'm not trying to change your mind on anything that you believe to be true or untrue, my job is to give you a different view of a world where things or people are not just black and white, up or down, but every color you can possibly imagine and going in infinite directions.
**Please check out my previous blog Curvylicious 101: What Plus Size Women & Lovers Should know**
PERCEPTION.
Do we have a certain image that creates a perception of who we are or a public face people are use to seeing; thus making it a part of our personalities? For instance, I've found that, if people perceive you as being kind that they assimilate that with being a push over or someone easily coerced into following others. On the flip side, you can be perceived as a tough person; but really that side of you only comes out when negatively provoked. This is just one example of the many ways perception can influence how people think and associate you with their idea of who you are and what they want you to be.
CHANGING NEGATIVE PERCEPTIONS:
To change a negative perception of yourself, you have to first determine if there is one. Honesty, I don't allow anyone's opinion of me change how I feel about myself. I have a strong sense of self and I know what I want. Also, because others are unsure of how to go about reaching their goals they mistake my assertiveness for anger ( totally not an angry person) I'm just hopeful and confident that the things I work hard for actually happen. But in order for that perception of me to change I've adopted ways as to not be aggressive (but still not except bullshit!) My solution: not to be engulfed into subjects that offer a debate on subject that can be ill represented. Try to keep the conversation flowing in a positive direction while standing firm in my agenda or point. I've learned that I don't have to debate fiercely with other people, but except the fact that different people have different opinions (which I'm totally cool with, I just don't want people to attempt to force me to agree with them #Petpeeve #NeverGonnaHappen). Sometimes that works for me because I'm respectful of differences, I just wish that everyone was just as respectful; but I digress.
If you do attempt to change a negative perception, my suggestion would me to soul search. Find out how to keep peace within yourself and as time progresses you can develope the same for others.
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