The Golden Globes Vs. The Golden Rule

Picture this; it's the day of The Golden Globes, your either walking the red carpet, taking pictures, or viewing at home. All the stars that graced the carpet with their appearance are posing in their designer tuxedos, suits, and dresses. And coming into view is plus size, black woman known for her portrayal of an overweight teen from a film made in 2009. She is wearing a gown made by a designer who traditionally doesn't make outfits for plus sizes. The gown doesn't flatter her figure (not even a little bit). What do you do? Talk about her like everyone else, bashing the outfit choice?  Or perhaps you should try to dig a bit deeper?

ON FIRST LOOK:

YES! The best thing I can say about the dress is that the color was the only choice about it that worked   For Ms. Sidibe. The rest as most of you know was not a complete disaster, but more like hard on the eyes. It showed all the problem areas instead of masking them, the fabric was unstructured and sort of hung on her body instead of draping, and lastly, there was no use of control under garments to hold all a woman's jiggly bits from jiggling. While, all that is true you are missing the 'Golden Rule' of all press related events. ALL publicity is good publicity! 

ON SECOND LOOK:

When you look closer what Ms. Gabourey Sidibe actually did is make sure she will continue to be employed for the next upcoming fiscal year. How? I'll explain. Who was the most talked about person on the carpet? Who is being talked about in all the blogs? Answer: Gabourey Sidibe. 

Oops! I did it again!

Has anyone noticed that every time she makes a 'Red Carpet' appearance she is either praised or ridiculed?
Also every time that happens she is in another movie, tv show, or guest staring on shows like Project Runway. Not bad for a woman that a critic once said that the only role she would be good for is one similar to the 2009 movie Precious: which is based on the novel Push by
Sapphire. 

Gabourey should be looked at as exactly what she is...A business woman, who told everyone through a tweet that she will be crying (sarcasm, of course!) in a private plane on her way to her dream job (I'm paraphrasing). So basically she uses all the negative attention as good press to keep her name, talent, and above all BRAND relevant. KUDOS! That's smart thinking on her part. Not only that; she brought recognition to a designer, whether it be negative or not it is FREE PUBLICITY. Like I stated earlier ALL publicity is good publicity because it keeps a person relevant. 

The infamous tweet

As far as Melisa McCarthy is concerned, she look good in her dress; though she
played it safe by wearing black. Everybody knows that EVERYBODY looks good in black, and that black is a fat girls best friend. Also, the only reason why she was mentioned is to compare her to Gabourey Sidibe because they were the only two heavy set women attending the event. Even with the comparison Gabourey still received more press than Ms. McCarthy.

Ok, it may not be as strategic as I see it; but it doesn't change the fact that it's all relatively TRUE! An actress considered to be a ONE HIT WONDER is proving herself to be a working, professional. What can the critics say to that? I say, ma do your thing!  I will continue to watch your movies, tv shows, or whatever; just like everyone else. But, try to stay away from the unflattering dresses! Show that haters how a big girl can really dress! I don't care how big my rolls (of fat) may be, they will be the SEXIEST rolls ever to grace the pages of a magazine, movies, show, or RED CARPET! 

As always stay BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT, & ABOVE ALL SEXY! 

Leave any comment below.

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The Diary of a FAT FASHIONISTA: I don't have anything to wear!

Hello! Lovely, Fluffy, Divas! In the Confessions series we addressed plus size lifestyles that included careers, love, relationships, mental, physical, & emotional aspects of being FAT in a skinny world. In this series, were going to focus more on the journey plus size women take through fashion and coming into their own. Though it's talked about all throughout this blog, this series will be geared for women like myself who have a hard time staying on trends, keeping up with the seasons must have 'IT' item, and everything in between due to the fact that we are slightly heavier than the more solid plus size women. In other words, we might have a little extra in our tummy pockets then other women. This is for the extra meaty sistas of the world, I got you!

I've been going through my closet trying desperately to find something different to wear; The worst feeling in the world is to realize you have absolutely nothing or that you've worn everything in there at least more
than a dozen times. What's a girl to do! Ok ladies, I'm not the only fluffy woman who's thighs rub and because of that your pants start to show wearing in that area; so I know the pain of having to fix a good pair of pants because of it. Also, we truly get tired of mixing and matching the same items over and over. If any of you are like me and crave variety  then we know the same old wardrobe just won't due.

So, whats a big girl to do? First things first, 'New Year' new revelations! Use your connections or make some if you don't have any. Be a little more friendly when going into a store to make a purchase. Become friends with the sales people, in doing that you will find out when new items are coming in; or when something goes on sale. These people will become your fashion insiders; telling you what you need to know.

Next, though you may know this already shop clearence, not just any clearence ALL clearance. We all have our favorite spots to shop, but try to branch out. Go to stores you wouldn't  normally go to find a deal. Basically be more flexable, just because a store doesn't traditionally sell plus sizes doesn't mean they don't have wardrobe pieces that can work with you style. for example, I use to avoid J.C. Penny like the plague because what they offered in plus sizes was hiddious! Some garments fell apart in the wash, lost color, or stretched out. Because of that i stopped shopping there, now I visit a little more often and stick to  the items I now would look good, fit, and above all LAST! I will never find a a pair of pants there to fit me, but at least I can find a good, inexpensive top. 

Finally, ladies we have to get over the fear of the dressing room. This is the place nightmares are made of. I remember when I use to be so scared to go into the dressing room and be disappointed that my heart would pound has I opened the door. Dramatic? Yes. The truth? Hell yes! I don't know if I've completely gotten over the anxiety, but I do know that I've learned how to not let it strike fear in me.

Have you taken something in the dressing room and you were sure it would fit or that you would look good in it, only to find out that it doesn't even come close to what your imagination thought it would look like? Yeah, I've done that too. So, whats the point? How is this going to help you? I'll tell you how. Try not to be upset by the fact that whatever the item is that is doesn't flatter your body, recognize the fact that your found out in the dressing room and not at home, work, or a night out. It's the worse when your busy throughout your day and you have a wardrobe malfunction. So, think of it as saving you from spending money that would be better spent on something that would actually look good. 

ARE PLUS SIZE WOMEN VAIN?

Ladies, lets face it. Although we are plus size we are very vain in a way when it comes to letting the world know that we hold ourselves at a high standard even if they don't. We view it as a shame if your plus sized and not well maintained, in that we may try to squeeze into clothes that have long stop fitting; THIS MUST STOP! In our vanity, we refuse to see that though we're plus size weight has been gained making the size were are, become the size we were. Stop buying things in your old size in an attempt to save face with the fact that your maintain your size instead of growing out of it. Try making positive changes in your diet. Look, I'm no nutritionist but I have the same problem and I try to make healthier choices as to not grow out of my clothes. We all know the bigger you are the more money the clothes cost, but allowing your muffin top to take center attention over your personality, style, and essence of being is a far

bigger crime. 

I'm not therapist, but I call it like it is. I talk about things that have happened to me, or I've gone through myself. Shopping isn't always a quick therapy session, but if your going out to the malls to find something to wear; don't bring baggage with you. If you do, all you will bring how with you is more baggage than what you had the first time. Let the weight of finding something to wear go (no pun intended) in order to find something that fits. 

Stay plus size, sexy, and confident!

Please leave any questions or comments below!

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Press Play > : Plus Size Club Wear

Hi Beautiful People! Have you ever had  a ladies nght planned, or an amazing date night at the club with your honey only to discover that your club clothes are either don't fit or out dated? The worse part is that it's probably too late to run out a buy something. So, what do you do in that situation? I'll tell you what will happen; you'll most likely put on something cute that you've worn before, pair it with a new piece of jewelry or shoes that no one has seen you in yet, and get the stepping. Am I right? I know I'm right because I would the same thing. 

I also know that in the back of your mind your hoping that no one remebers this outfit, though thats impossible because everyone notices when a curvy or plus size girl wears something new. Its difficult for us to buy just anything to wear to the club or anywhere else for that matter because it leaves too many unknowns on the table. Unlike the curve-deficient ladies of the world, we have to worry about if our tops rolls up, the pants being too tight at the waist giving the wearer a burning sensation across the stomach because the denim is cutting into your skin, blouses that stick to back rolls, skirts that can roll up exposing thighs, panties, and much more if you know what I mean! It's hard out there for a big, plus size, or curvy girl to maintain our sexiness with all that craziness going on! So, I've attempted to make it easier for the pleasently plump divas; you know who you are! 

I've looked at some popular curvy retailers and found some great picks PRESS PLAY > CLUB WEAR!

Do you have a favorite retailer not mentioned? Tell me about it in the comments section below! Happy shopping Divas! 

From Torrid:

LANE BRYANT:

ASOS CURVE:

SWAK DESIGNS:

WALMART:

DEBS SHOPS:

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Fashion Plus's Holiday Wish List: Dominique's Picks For The Perfect Gift!

Happy Holidays Divas! This time of year we are all running around trying to prepare for family visits, party planning, traveling, shopping; all while still working, taking care of our families, and trying to maintain our sanity. With all this hectic activity going on we lose sight of ourselves. Instead of taking a breath; we take off top speed in order to get all our tasks done. In preparing for the holidays,we attempts to cater to others by giving them what they want; while not getting what we want or need. So, beautiful people we are taking the day off. Set some time aside for yourself. Get a drink, take a hot bath, or maybe spend some sort of alone time with your own thoughts. While, your taking that time to yourself try and figure out what it is you want Santa to bring your for Christmas. Here are some of the thing I will be asking Santa for when I take a seat on his knee this year!

This first thing I want is a Sexy Photo Shoot! Sometimes being a mom, and budding entrepreneur I get stuck in a routine. Its easy for me to throw on anything to run an errand or not care about what I look like. I want this photo shoot to remind me that I'm always going to be a sexy plus size diva, no matter how crazy my life is.

The next thing I would love is to be able to finish writing and publish my book that I've been working on for years. I love full figured novels, and become inspired by other authors. But I too want to be apart of this elite society and write about all the things that are in my heart.

Next, is a Dell Inspiron Ultrabook with touch screen. This diva defiantly needs a new computer in order to create works of art inside the pages of a book. Though my old computer is reliable  I really need an upgrade!

This beauty is a Tiffany & Co. Jean Schlcmberger cones bracelet in 18k gold. I want this just because it gorgeous! And of course beautiful girls deserve beautiful things!





This is for the diva on the go! I already have an Ipad mini, but what I don't have is a bluetooth keyboard to go with it. With this it will be a whole lot easier to write my blog, take notes, and do basically everything on the go without the discomfort of trying to type and hold up the device.

And if all the above wasn't enough, I need an Amazon.com gift card to feed the shopping beast I have!






I could always get these things my self, but I've been a good girl this year (sort of!) so I thing Santa a spare a little something extra! Happy Holidays Beautiful People!

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Confessions Of A Plus Size Fashion Blogger: It's So Hard To Be A Working Girl!

Hello curvaceous beauties! I want to talk with you guys about something that has been on my mind for a while, and it's being plus size in the work place. How do you feel about that? Has there ever been a time when you were passed up for a promotion, or passed over in an interview? I have, and my experiences are what I'm sharing today. I use to think that being qualified, and a skilled worker is was enough to gain a position (this was when I was younger), now I know the other factors that determines one's career path.

QUESTION: How hard is it to be the only plus size person in your department or company? Do you feel awkward?

  One factor that is timeless is the all important 'look' of the applicant. I know this shouldn't matter, it most of the time  it doesn't; however there are those rare times when it's more than obvious what's on someone's mind when meeting someone for the first time or when considering them to be promoted. 

My Story:

My experience with this area came in the form of a job I worked a long time ago, I worked for a company
where image was everything; due to the fact that it was a retail company where it catered to a specific type of consumer. The target consumer was a cool, thin, popular, in-crowd sort of person. How I got a position with this company was through my school who referred me, and due to their lack of people to perform a particular task I was last hope so to speak. I worked hard, stayed late, worked overnight shifts, trained team members who later joined, and even visited other locations to amp up that's stores notoriety. There were also times when the store was being visited by corporate offices and I was the only team member on deck to ensure that the layout and merchandise was up to par, that's how much I was trusted with the presentation of the store. 

Through all that I mentioned, when it came  promotion time I was passed over for a manager position; and the person that was chosen was someone I trained, that was the 'body type' the company felt good with representing them.




When it came down to it, the company felt that 'attractive people' attract 'attractive people', so to have someone
they felt didn't bring in the consumers they wanted to shop with them, I was to continue to be in the background, work in the stock room, hired help.


Honestly, the  person they chose instead was an epic IDIOT and didn't deserve the position (dumb as a box of rocks kind of stupid). To add insult to injury my manager at the time hid the promotion from me because he was afraid I would quit and they didn't want to loose me, but didn't think enough of me to promote me...HOW DOES THAT WORK? So needless to say I put in my two weeks notice. When I reported the incident to HR I was told maybe I didn't get it because I wore glasses, or my hair was in a pony tail....REALLY! Then tried to talk me out of leaving, yeah, cause after that I was really going to stay. So you can kind of see why plus size in the work place is a sore subject with me.

For awhile, I thought it was my fault. Maybe there was something I lacked that prevented me from getting the position I wanted, even after I heard what was told to me by HR (one guy in particular, not the whole dept). For a long time I struggled (work wise), I gave up on my goals and attempted to just work for the sake of working; though I wasn't happy. Me being miserable made people around me miserable too. Until one day I became so frustrated by not being where I wanted to be at that point in my life that I decided to start a blog. I did it because no other blogger was discussing the things that I could relate to. I was in a sense searching for something that I couldn't find. So, because I couldn't find it I created it in FASHION PLUS! 

QUESTION: Has anyone looked at your stomach before they've looked in your face?

That has defiantly happened to me. Every time I walk through the mall, go to a restaurant, even if I'm out and about with my husband and kids. It's almost like the size of my gut, butt, hips, and breasts define me more than my killer way of being. As long as their is a size restraint on beauty we will continue to be prejudged without the courtesy of showing who we are. Sad? Yes. Reality? Hell YES!

 THE SOLUTION:   

It's simple, FIGHT ON! who is anyone to tell you what you can and can' aspire for? Why is it because your body is not what the mainstream desires that the importance of your work is less relevant?  I feel like if you have a talent, passion, or connection to do something productive to your life; then you should do it. If your plus size, thick, overweight, or obese; if you are the best in your abilities don't sing backup, be front and center. If you want to be in the modeling industry? Let your stride, and confidence be what people judge you on; want to design? Make something that will SHOCK & AWE that has a great message. The point is be more that what they think you are, and go further that you thought you ever would.

It really doesn't matter what industry your trying to get into or what opportunities are given or not given to you; learn how to make a way from no way, don't take everything so personally, and be your own biggest supporter.

*Stay Beautiful, Positive, and Plus Size!

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Curvylicious 101: What Curvy Girls & Lovers Should Know

 It has come to my attention that we are living in a world were men who love plus size women often lie about their fondness for a fluffy woman; and some women refuse to believe they are plus size, also the women that understand their curves are reluctant to accentuate their curves for fear of not being good enough to attract a man's attention. What do we do about these issues surrounding 'Big Love'? That was what I was thinking when I decided write this article. It's crazy to me that even in today's world where we (as a plus size community) has conquered so much when it comes to love, sex, relationships, and what have you; that we are still subject to the same old society norms that surround the curvier sexes.

 Speaking from experience, and that of some friends; I think I've encountered every type of man that is a "Fat Lover".


 1. There's the: I"ll be cool in your face, but won't say two words to you in front of my friends guy.
  
2. It's the: I'll tease you about your weight, but I still want to SMASH (have sex with you) guy.  

3. The closet 'fat admirer': this the guy who has a petite or skinny girlfriend whom he goes out with and is a good show piece on his arm, but really wants to go out with her plus size friend. This guy has also disguised himself as best friend to the plumper woman and runs to her with problems he may have in his relationships. She becomes a substitute girlfriend, mother, Wife, and Confidant to him, he might get to smash (have sex) this so called 'best friend'; but will quickly dismiss her when he is done rebounding from his heartache.

 4. We have the: ain't nothing better than a big girl guy (totally self explanatory).

5. The 'one hit wonder': this is the dude who wants to be with a big girl for the first time to see how the sex will compare to that of the smaller woman, then he turns into #3 the 'Closet Fat Admirer' or C.F.A.

6. Is the guy who is only a friend who doesn't see a plus size friend as a sexual interest at all (though she may want more than a friendship).

7. Winter time boo, this is the guy who want to shack up and mooch off a plus size woman through the winter time. He has no job, doesn't go to school, and no ambition. He just want to be taken in and taken care of until the spring or when it gets warm outside and the weather gets nice. And lastly... 


8. The guy who finds plus size women totally disgusting, but won't say it to your face. 

With all the obstacles that surround us, now wonder most of us are confused about situations that can arise and WRONG signals that men send out. Also, about how we plus size women respond to those signals, and also to put to bed so to speak about how we as women feel about ourselves in regards to these types of situations and men we may encounter that can play a part in our point of views about our lives, and the people we allow in them. So to help out my sisters, I've come up with some ways to tell men about the themselves; while helping my sisters to understand why they allow some of these situations to occur.

 Let's start with the MEN in our lives (and the one's we can't seem to get rid of)!

1. Guys, we are no longer in high school where if you pretend to not like a plus size woman; and go out of your way to make her feel uncomfortable, then assume that it can be interpreted as you really like her. FALSE! when you act like that we really think you don't like us, so to avoid an uncomfortable situation we stay away from you! That's not sexy or a turn on its repellent.

2. Don't attempt to use a plus size woman as a fall back or runner's up to the girl that your really interested in. All your doing is creating unnecessary DRAMA. Leading someone on for your own selfish reason is already messed up, then to add insult to injury makes it 10x worse; just don't do it!

3. Plus size women are not your personal therapists, we may have great insight into somethings; but we cannot solve your problems for you. If you get yourself into a situation that has come back to bite you in your ass, be a grown man a fix it. Stop running to women who act as your caregiver to fix it for you.

4. We are NOT Winter time boo's! Don't seek out a plus size woman for the Winter months, then drop her as soon as Spring time comes around. That's not only messed up, but can really hurt that woman's sense of self  and/or self worth. What if we did that to you?

5. We are not toys! You can't pick us up and play with us when its convenient for you.

6. If a woman changes her number and move six times without telling you, that means she doesn't want you in her life. Take the hint and stalk someone else.

For the LADIES!

1.  In sex, don't let the guy think he's moving mountains, when really he's not even  in the right zip code. In the end your the one losing out not him; he's already got his rocks off.

2. If you let him treat you like a side chick, than eventually that's what you will become. There is nothing wrong with wanting more from a relationship and attempting to establish just that. If he can't give it to you, move on.




 3. Are you running an outreach program for lazy ass men? Then you are your allowing them to run over you, while you cook, clean, work, go to school, or raise children while they watch you?  A man about his happy home and concern for his woman would share in the burden of these situations, not contribute to them.

4. If you love you, then others will too! You get what you put out, if your always putting yourself down then its a good chance you will attract people who will do the same. In the process you can possibly push good people away from you, because they simply don't want to be around negative people.

5. Not everyone who says they are your friend actually is. I know we've all heard this before but its as TRUE now as is has always been. It applies to men, women, family, and  friends. Hard Fact, some people befriend a plus size girl because they pose no threat to them (other women) or so they think.  Often women treat other women worst than a man ever could, when a plus size girl goes to the club we are there to party and relax like everyone else not to be a purse holder, zoo keeper, or designated driver. Ladies, take these types of people out of your life.

6. As I've said before in past blog posts, you should not ever be ashamed of who you are. Don't hide all your lusciousness for fear that you will not be attractive, love your flab. If your not trying to diet, and are ok with you; then embrace your look, change it if you feel the need, or just try to step out of your comfort zone. Know your truth, no one knows what or who you are but you. Don't let anyone dictate your purpose in this world. If you don't know, then allow yourself to take the risk to find out and explore possibilities.

I hope I was able to shine some light on plus size relationships and the situations we can somehow find ourselves in. If you have a subject you want to suggest or something that you have an issue with that you want to discuss please leave it in the comments section. Stay beautiful, Plus Size, and Sexy!

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