Growing up full figured: The Evolution of the big girl

This subject has been on my mind for quite some time. I've had trouble with this all my life. I never knew how effected I was until I started to recognize the patterns in the relationships I had or the choices I made (especially in men!). Honestly, it started with the movie Phat Girls that recently came on tv.  Not that I've never seen the movie before; it's more like I watched it with new eyes. What I saw before was a big girl trying to find love, what I see now is a big girl who once was a little girl with image issues trying to find love in another person instead of finding it within herself. In doing so she uses fat burners, diet pills and drinks; only to be disappointed that no change as occurred. How cliche right? But with all honesty its the truth, how many of us has the same story to tell? I know I do. As a full figured woman, I never thought about why I fight so hard to be heard, taken seriously, or even considered a factor. I now have an idea of why; (this is my opinion) I think its because as a full figured woman we are often pushed in to certain roles in life that don't necessarily fit who we are as people, and because of this we often become mean or bitter, some become desperate, needy, or clingy. These are roles we are stuck  in because those are the roles we see portrayed on tv or in real life; desperate women trying to fit in to a mold that isn't made for wide hips and thick thighs. Growing up I felt the same pressure to fit in, and in some ways I still feel the pressure; but it is a lot less, and I'm more excepting of who I am, and what I will possibly never be. Some ideas we may have of our selves isn't realistic to what our bodies can actually be. This is hard to face, but realism is a must! And I'm not in the habit of lying to anyone especially myself.  

Who do you remember in your growing up that gave a positive image of that a plus size man or woman should be?

Fashion is one way we've stepped out of the box with the stigma created around a sexier woman. In fashion I've found that I was sexy, expressive, desired, and flirtatious (well I'm naturally flirtatious anyway!); but the personality and confidence really comes out when your comfortable with who and what you are. How do you feel when your all done up and sexy?

Recently, being a bigger woman doesn't get the bad press it use to. Now we are the lead actresses, the love interests, as well as the best friends and mothers. We have really made strides in recent years and became the new "it" girls of society, IT TOOK LONG ENOUGH! How have you evolved? Can you approach someone and start a conversation or give a flirtatious eye to a gorgeous man/woman across the room? These are some things that come with growing up & evolving into a you that you want to be without the pressure of society constantly making comments on what you can't be.

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 HOW HAVE YOU EVOLVED?

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Curves and Fashion Shows!

Hi Beautiful People! Last night I attended Fashion Bang Out Fashion Show in Newark, NJ; this event also supported Breast Cancer and many audience members participated in the Walk that took place earlier in the day. I was also there to support one of Fashion Plus's Beauties of the Week who walked in the show. I'm here to tell you that the designers showed up and showed off! Of course, I have my favorites and YES! there were defiantly crowd pleasers, but (there is always a but right?) I wanted to see more from the full figured community. The designers had great collections only most were for the "sweet & petite" and not for the "thick & sexy." Although, there were two designers who showcased mostly plus size garments( only very few sweet & petite) one of them show outfits were geared more for a older woman. What happened to the early 20's to mid 30's ladies?

The other designer was in a word "AWESOME" she had a different style that really brought out a woman's curves no matter the age range she was in. Most of her outfits were African inspired, and for me it was love at first sight. Unfortunately I don't have any websites, but I promise I will do some digging and post them as soon as I can. I was also happy to see that even the designers that featured small models had a few curvy girls in their roster with beautiful clothing on; however, those outfits won't fit a woman bigger than a size 18.... Well, we win some; we lose some...

Overall, we were kind of left out. For all the progress Full Figured Fashion has made there was almost no evidence of it last night. That was the only part I would have changed( well that and I would have gotten a better seat).

The fashion show itself was a great event to attend; I really got inspired by the hosts, the presenters, the designers, and last but NOT least the confidence of the models! I don't know if I could ever do what they have done, but I do know one thing they came there with a purpose and the fulfilled it with not even a hint of hesitation; and for that and the awareness that was raised for Breast Cancer I salute you!

Stay Beautiful, Confident, and Sexy!

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Love & Sex the Plus Size Way: How much is too much to handle?

Hello my beauties! I know this is a fashion blog, but it's named Fashion Plus because every now and again I like to branch out into different arenas that concern the full figured community.

I recently was watching a vlog by one of my favorite vloggers Kimonica, and she brought up some issues I long forgot. The rejection of being a full figured person that always seem to fall into the "friendship zone" of a relationship instead of actually being in a relationship. How do you feel about that? Is having a relationship with a full figured person embarrassing to the people in relationships with them? Or is it just an insecurity that we have to get over? I think that's the question many of us pose when entering into a physical or mental relationship with a potential significant other.

Have you ever been that really cool guy or girl friend that is always there to listen to your friends problems and maybe offer a few kind or words of wisdom? If it ever went pass a casual friendship, how did that make you feel? Did your bond get stronger or did it sour?

The concept of "love" is scary no matter the person that your interested in, but before it gets to that point most of us start off as...yeah you guessed it FRIENDS! On the flip side someone could be interested in a plus size person, but could be embarrassed to be seen with you; honestly I think I've encountered that version a time or two on my life. Thankfully I've never been aware of it until after the fact.

*I got a story to tell:

When I was a teenager I was so brain washed by what society thought beauty was that I never put myself in the category of beautiful. So it was a natural thing for me to be oblivious to someone who liked me; I would just write it off as "just being nice." Later another friend would tell me what happened and I'll never forget what she said. She said" he likes you but he won't talk to you like that because he's afraid of what his boys will think." you would think that was devastating, but it wasn't it's exactly what I expected, so i didn't give it a second thought. And that's sad but true. Have you experienced something similar?

So, in saying that how much is too much for you to handle? And what message are you conveying to the world, think about it.

Leave any comments, suggestions, or concerns below. Stay beautiful, confident, & sexy!

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5 Tips a Plus Size Diva must know to Be successful

Hello Dolls! Today I want to bring to you five tips that will make you successful in your industry. Lets be honest competition for a full figured man or woman its much harder than for our smaller counterparts to be considered for a particular career path, so in order to get a fair deal I have devised a few ways to get the ball in our court and climb that "corporate ladder."

Tip #1: know your occasion/profession and dress for it.

Nothing is worse or leaves a bad impression more than someone ill dressed for a meeting, interview, or presentation. You have 5 seconds to make a first impression and unfortunately the first one is always visual. For the full figured person this is a great task to perform, not only do you have to convey neat but capable as well. Some employers (not all) may assume that your size will be an issue when conducting certain tasks, you must prove to them in a non verbal way that you are fully capable of any task they set forth.

Tip #2: Wear confidence like you would your favorite pair of shoes!

When you walk into the room try to be the biggest personality there (no pun intended) not overwhelming or "cocky" but intelligent. As we all know there is a thin line between confident and cocky so try your best not to cross it. Just put in your mind that no one is sexier, more beautiful, or have half as much rapport as you. When this happens you feel more comfortable in your surroundings and that allows your personality to shine through giving the other person a glimpse into what it would be like to work with you.

Tip #3: Personal Style

Stand out as much as possible without overpowering onlookers. Make the other people look as if the were manufactured drones that are fresh from the assembly line. Their generic looks and personality will be no match for you. Just be aware of your surrounding and adjust if need be. Try not to wear strong perfumes or colones, nothing will turn someone off more than to be aquatinted with your fragrance Before they become aquatinted with you.

Tip #4: Be Knowledgeable

Study the company or background of the attendees as much as you can prior. That way you can build a casual conversation with one or a group of people and make them feel more relaxed to talk about a subject their familiar with. This relationship building can lead to networking within your industry as well as open you to new ones. Know your conversational strengths and play them up with full potential and growth; your bound to get the attention of some high profile person, client, or group that can lead you into the right direction.

Tip # 5: Coordination

No matter what industry your in, your ability to be adaptable to any corporate structure is essential. Start a routine and try to build or improve on it as soon as the occasion calls for it. Be the captain of every ship in your port; know what's going on and what their needs are. While doing this also remember that you are not every man or woman and sometime need to enlist the help of others, being a multi-tasked person doesn't mean you have to do it alone.

Remember these fives tips I'm sure they will come in handy! As always stay Beautiful, Confident, and Full figured! Until next time xo!

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Beauty of the Week! Who says beautiful only comes in one size?

Hello Dolls! Now being featured on Fashion Plus for Facebook is The Beauty of The Week! So, every curvy, full figured, or plus size king or queen who wants to show off the beauty that they've been blessed with post up your pictures as many or as little as you want and ONCE a week someone will be selected to wear the CROWN as Beauty of the Week and bragging rights!

When you post up your picture please say what you do or want to do for a living so that can be included in your bragging rights.

As always stay beautiful, confident, and sexy! XOXO!

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The mirror has two faces: Which one do you believe?

Hello Dolls! I know you guys are looking at this image saying ok, what's this about? Well, I've had something on my mind I want to share with all of you; it's something we all struggle with, but most people don't talk about it or ignore it. I know because I'm guiltily of ignoring it myself. First I want to say I'm no doctor, therapist, or anything like that; I just talk to you guys from a real place of what I've seen, heard, or experienced for myself. Can I do that? Is that alright? Well, let's get started!
The two faces of a mirror, I know y'all like; what two faces? When I look I only see one, and that's the fabulous me! And your right there is only one face and it's yours, but when I say two faces; what I mean is the face you see in the mirror, and the one you see in your MIND. What I'm really talking about is perception or body image perception. I've notice that some of us don't believe what we see in the mirror because our minds are giving us totally different information. We apply how we feel to how we look, thus using our outer appearance to reflect what we think we look like; and this simply isn't true (not in all cases, but a good majority). Like I said I'm guilty of the same misconception as most so I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer, I just want to be real with you.
How can we fix this? By being honest with ourselves about our appearances and how we appear to other people? Did you ever try asking somebody who knows you pretty well about how they perceive you? Well, you should if you didn't the results could shock you. Plus size ladies were affected by this most of all that's why we seem to miss the mark when trying to reinvent ourselves; a majority of the time we don't know where to start so we go for the easiest mark. Fashion magazines, clothing stores that don't go up to our size, wear items six sizes too small; all in an effort to feel better about our own perception of ourselves. And why? It does nothing but stress us out later if we feel like we don't measure up. Our minds are the "I can wear that beast" and we feed it by feeding into the mainstream idea of what a "woman" should look like. That 'beast' tell us we can do something and we believe it that's the minds perception. Then we do it and look in the mirror at our handiwork and we look a HOT MESS! That my lovely is the mirrors perception. The mirror is what's real; the mind is what is fooling us every time. I guess that's were we get the phrase GO AND GET YOUR MIND RIGHT! Because it can truly be the worst if that's how we continue to go through life.
Do some soul searching and really find out what it is that's causing you to believe a lie. You have to approve of yourself before anyone else can approve of you. Which mirror would you chose? Until next time my loves! Stay beautiful, confident, sexy, and above all plus size and loving it!


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Falling in love with fall: styles we love & the ones we don't

Hello Everybody! Today were going to discuss fall fashion trends among us full figured, voluptuous, sexy because that's just who we are people. Of course when moving from summer into fall some of the best styles summer has to offer will follow suit, that way we will get the best of both seasons.

What do we have to look forward to? Be on the look out for high low shirts and dresses. This look will work for a casual night out or a business chic look. But when applying the high low look be body conscious of what your showing, and how much of it you want to hide. Nothing ruins this looks more than a plus size girl who is going for a chic look and misses because the look doesn't suit her body type. Also, be aware of your environment; some high low outfits are not work appropriate.

The next trend that will blend itself into fall is bright colored leggings or jeans. This trend is going to be incorporated with dark colors and sheer some pieces that can help express your individuality. With this look different is good, but personality is better. And that is what playing with the different colors, and cuts of this style will do.

Other style must haves are some eccentric styles, and sheered colored material tops. These pairings give use a more versatile look. Plus size beauties don't be afraid to step out of the box when it comes to sheer items, just know when to go or it and when to let it go, that will be the difference between being a knockout an getting knocked out; see the difference.

My advice explore all of your options, gone are the days of mixed prints that will make someone dizzy when you walk(almost there are some still lurking around), overly sparkled, shapeless, flowing, or colored clothing designed to hide instead of accentuate all of our angles and curves. Full figured fashion had come a long way from those days, it's a revolution and I for one is going to always be on it's side.

Stay beautiful, sexy, confident, and above all full figured! Until next time always be proud of your progress no matter how far, long, or hard it was to attain it. Love you all! Xoxoxox!