Curvylicious 101: What Curvy Girls & Lovers Should Know

 It has come to my attention that we are living in a world were men who love plus size women often lie about their fondness for a fluffy woman; and some women refuse to believe they are plus size, also the women that understand their curves are reluctant to accentuate their curves for fear of not being good enough to attract a man's attention. What do we do about these issues surrounding 'Big Love'? That was what I was thinking when I decided write this article. It's crazy to me that even in today's world where we (as a plus size community) has conquered so much when it comes to love, sex, relationships, and what have you; that we are still subject to the same old society norms that surround the curvier sexes.

 Speaking from experience, and that of some friends; I think I've encountered every type of man that is a "Fat Lover".


 1. There's the: I"ll be cool in your face, but won't say two words to you in front of my friends guy.
  
2. It's the: I'll tease you about your weight, but I still want to SMASH (have sex with you) guy.  

3. The closet 'fat admirer': this the guy who has a petite or skinny girlfriend whom he goes out with and is a good show piece on his arm, but really wants to go out with her plus size friend. This guy has also disguised himself as best friend to the plumper woman and runs to her with problems he may have in his relationships. She becomes a substitute girlfriend, mother, Wife, and Confidant to him, he might get to smash (have sex) this so called 'best friend'; but will quickly dismiss her when he is done rebounding from his heartache.

 4. We have the: ain't nothing better than a big girl guy (totally self explanatory).

5. The 'one hit wonder': this is the dude who wants to be with a big girl for the first time to see how the sex will compare to that of the smaller woman, then he turns into #3 the 'Closet Fat Admirer' or C.F.A.

6. Is the guy who is only a friend who doesn't see a plus size friend as a sexual interest at all (though she may want more than a friendship).

7. Winter time boo, this is the guy who want to shack up and mooch off a plus size woman through the winter time. He has no job, doesn't go to school, and no ambition. He just want to be taken in and taken care of until the spring or when it gets warm outside and the weather gets nice. And lastly... 


8. The guy who finds plus size women totally disgusting, but won't say it to your face. 

With all the obstacles that surround us, now wonder most of us are confused about situations that can arise and WRONG signals that men send out. Also, about how we plus size women respond to those signals, and also to put to bed so to speak about how we as women feel about ourselves in regards to these types of situations and men we may encounter that can play a part in our point of views about our lives, and the people we allow in them. So to help out my sisters, I've come up with some ways to tell men about the themselves; while helping my sisters to understand why they allow some of these situations to occur.

 Let's start with the MEN in our lives (and the one's we can't seem to get rid of)!

1. Guys, we are no longer in high school where if you pretend to not like a plus size woman; and go out of your way to make her feel uncomfortable, then assume that it can be interpreted as you really like her. FALSE! when you act like that we really think you don't like us, so to avoid an uncomfortable situation we stay away from you! That's not sexy or a turn on its repellent.

2. Don't attempt to use a plus size woman as a fall back or runner's up to the girl that your really interested in. All your doing is creating unnecessary DRAMA. Leading someone on for your own selfish reason is already messed up, then to add insult to injury makes it 10x worse; just don't do it!

3. Plus size women are not your personal therapists, we may have great insight into somethings; but we cannot solve your problems for you. If you get yourself into a situation that has come back to bite you in your ass, be a grown man a fix it. Stop running to women who act as your caregiver to fix it for you.

4. We are NOT Winter time boo's! Don't seek out a plus size woman for the Winter months, then drop her as soon as Spring time comes around. That's not only messed up, but can really hurt that woman's sense of self  and/or self worth. What if we did that to you?

5. We are not toys! You can't pick us up and play with us when its convenient for you.

6. If a woman changes her number and move six times without telling you, that means she doesn't want you in her life. Take the hint and stalk someone else.

For the LADIES!

1.  In sex, don't let the guy think he's moving mountains, when really he's not even  in the right zip code. In the end your the one losing out not him; he's already got his rocks off.

2. If you let him treat you like a side chick, than eventually that's what you will become. There is nothing wrong with wanting more from a relationship and attempting to establish just that. If he can't give it to you, move on.




 3. Are you running an outreach program for lazy ass men? Then you are your allowing them to run over you, while you cook, clean, work, go to school, or raise children while they watch you?  A man about his happy home and concern for his woman would share in the burden of these situations, not contribute to them.

4. If you love you, then others will too! You get what you put out, if your always putting yourself down then its a good chance you will attract people who will do the same. In the process you can possibly push good people away from you, because they simply don't want to be around negative people.

5. Not everyone who says they are your friend actually is. I know we've all heard this before but its as TRUE now as is has always been. It applies to men, women, family, and  friends. Hard Fact, some people befriend a plus size girl because they pose no threat to them (other women) or so they think.  Often women treat other women worst than a man ever could, when a plus size girl goes to the club we are there to party and relax like everyone else not to be a purse holder, zoo keeper, or designated driver. Ladies, take these types of people out of your life.

6. As I've said before in past blog posts, you should not ever be ashamed of who you are. Don't hide all your lusciousness for fear that you will not be attractive, love your flab. If your not trying to diet, and are ok with you; then embrace your look, change it if you feel the need, or just try to step out of your comfort zone. Know your truth, no one knows what or who you are but you. Don't let anyone dictate your purpose in this world. If you don't know, then allow yourself to take the risk to find out and explore possibilities.

I hope I was able to shine some light on plus size relationships and the situations we can somehow find ourselves in. If you have a subject you want to suggest or something that you have an issue with that you want to discuss please leave it in the comments section. Stay beautiful, Plus Size, and Sexy!

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