Showing posts with label Confessions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confessions. Show all posts

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Confessions Of A Plus Size Fashion Blogger: It's So Hard To Be A Working Girl!

Hello curvaceous beauties! I want to talk with you guys about something that has been on my mind for a while, and it's being plus size in the work place. How do you feel about that? Has there ever been a time when you were passed up for a promotion, or passed over in an interview? I have, and my experiences are what I'm sharing today. I use to think that being qualified, and a skilled worker is was enough to gain a position (this was when I was younger), now I know the other factors that determines one's career path.

QUESTION: How hard is it to be the only plus size person in your department or company? Do you feel awkward?

  One factor that is timeless is the all important 'look' of the applicant. I know this shouldn't matter, it most of the time  it doesn't; however there are those rare times when it's more than obvious what's on someone's mind when meeting someone for the first time or when considering them to be promoted. 

My Story:

My experience with this area came in the form of a job I worked a long time ago, I worked for a company
where image was everything; due to the fact that it was a retail company where it catered to a specific type of consumer. The target consumer was a cool, thin, popular, in-crowd sort of person. How I got a position with this company was through my school who referred me, and due to their lack of people to perform a particular task I was last hope so to speak. I worked hard, stayed late, worked overnight shifts, trained team members who later joined, and even visited other locations to amp up that's stores notoriety. There were also times when the store was being visited by corporate offices and I was the only team member on deck to ensure that the layout and merchandise was up to par, that's how much I was trusted with the presentation of the store. 

Through all that I mentioned, when it came  promotion time I was passed over for a manager position; and the person that was chosen was someone I trained, that was the 'body type' the company felt good with representing them.




When it came down to it, the company felt that 'attractive people' attract 'attractive people', so to have someone
they felt didn't bring in the consumers they wanted to shop with them, I was to continue to be in the background, work in the stock room, hired help.


Honestly, the  person they chose instead was an epic IDIOT and didn't deserve the position (dumb as a box of rocks kind of stupid). To add insult to injury my manager at the time hid the promotion from me because he was afraid I would quit and they didn't want to loose me, but didn't think enough of me to promote me...HOW DOES THAT WORK? So needless to say I put in my two weeks notice. When I reported the incident to HR I was told maybe I didn't get it because I wore glasses, or my hair was in a pony tail....REALLY! Then tried to talk me out of leaving, yeah, cause after that I was really going to stay. So you can kind of see why plus size in the work place is a sore subject with me.

For awhile, I thought it was my fault. Maybe there was something I lacked that prevented me from getting the position I wanted, even after I heard what was told to me by HR (one guy in particular, not the whole dept). For a long time I struggled (work wise), I gave up on my goals and attempted to just work for the sake of working; though I wasn't happy. Me being miserable made people around me miserable too. Until one day I became so frustrated by not being where I wanted to be at that point in my life that I decided to start a blog. I did it because no other blogger was discussing the things that I could relate to. I was in a sense searching for something that I couldn't find. So, because I couldn't find it I created it in FASHION PLUS! 

QUESTION: Has anyone looked at your stomach before they've looked in your face?

That has defiantly happened to me. Every time I walk through the mall, go to a restaurant, even if I'm out and about with my husband and kids. It's almost like the size of my gut, butt, hips, and breasts define me more than my killer way of being. As long as their is a size restraint on beauty we will continue to be prejudged without the courtesy of showing who we are. Sad? Yes. Reality? Hell YES!


 THE SOLUTION:   

It's simple, FIGHT ON! who is anyone to tell you what you can and can' aspire for? Why is it because your body is not what the mainstream desires that the importance of your work is less relevant?  I feel like if you have a talent, passion, or connection to do something productive to your life; then you should do it. If your plus size, thick, overweight, or obese; if you are the best in your abilities don't sing backup, be front and center. If you want to be in the modeling industry? Let your stride, and confidence be what people judge you on; want to design? Make something that will SHOCK & AWE that has a great message. The point is be more that what they think you are, and go further that you thought you ever would.

It really doesn't matter what industry your trying to get into or what opportunities are given or not given to you; learn how to make a way from no way, don't take everything so personally, and be your own biggest supporter.

*Stay Beautiful, Positive, and Plus Size!

Find me on:
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/fashionplusblog
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/PlusSizePrincessDom
YouTube: www.Youtube.com/user/dom4fashionplus



Monday, June 24, 2013

CONFESSIONS of a Plus Size Fashion Blogger: My decision to go NATURAL!


Hi beautiful people! I want to talk to you guys about why I decided to go natural, but let's start from the beginning...I don't remember exactly when I my hair relaxed for the first time, but if I had to guess I would say about age 6 or 7. The first time, my mom let her friend put the relaxer in my hair for her because she had to work and she wanted my hair neat for school. Well, this woman put it in; but she put the WRONG relaxer in my head! I know what your thinking...your thinking how did she put the wrong one in my hair? Good question, it's because she wanted to use the kiddie relaxer my mom bought me to put in her daughters hair. NOT COOL right? And the relaxer she put in my hair was an adult Dark and Lovely; waaaay too strong for my thin, virgin hair! So, you know moms was upset I don't know what happened to them as friends after that, but I do know she NEVER let her put her hands in my hair ever again. Luckily, only a small patch of my hair came out, but she did my hair in such a way that no one could tell anything was wrong. Thus, starting my up and down love affair with relaxers.

I was never that girl that relaxes her hair every three months, honestly I only did it every six months(twice a
year), and in between I occasionally went to a beauty salon. But even relaxing twice a year gave me lots of breakage, also after my hair began to grow out from the relaxer I didn't  wrapping my hair at night; this also contributed split ends, breakage, and un-even length.

In my search to find myself (hair wise) I cut, colored, streaked, fried, dyed, payed to the side, curled, braided, and weaved (very little) my hair to find my identity. And every single one of the mentioned thing s we not to my benefit. First off, my hair is naturally long. Problem is its thin so if I wanted a styled ponytail I needed a hair piece or what we call in the hood a track.  Really, my problem was that every girl around me had short hair that those were the type of styles they did that were cute, so I wanted to be cute as well; only my hair could do all those styles despite me trying anyway. 

So, after more than a decade of relaxing I've decided to go natural. To me it's very freeing! When it rains I don't have to wear a hat, and use an umbrella to keep my hair dry, or run and duck under onings. I've also experienced a lot of hair growth, shine, and strength due to my decision for natural hair. Please check out my
YOUTUBE page to watch my video on natural hair called Natural hair: my nightly routine for advice. I think because I've grown up and I'm no longer trying to find my identity that now I'm able to let go of some constraints the were put on me for being plus size, black, a woman, that I can now just LIVE; that's the best feeling ever!




Don't let ads like this make you believe that this is what you need to do to be beautiful. It really doesn't matter if you relax, perm, or go natural with your hair as long as you are comfortable with the health, and strength or your mane.



**Also, check me out I. June 2013 issue of Full Blossom Magazine for F things a diva must know.**

Social Media:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FashionPlusBlog 
Blogspot: http://www.favulouslyp.blogspot.com
Instagram: PlusSizePrincessDom
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Dom4FashionPlus