Growing up full figured: The Evolution of the big girl

This subject has been on my mind for quite some time. I've had trouble with this all my life. I never knew how effected I was until I started to recognize the patterns in the relationships I had or the choices I made (especially in men!). Honestly, it started with the movie Phat Girls that recently came on tv.  Not that I've never seen the movie before; it's more like I watched it with new eyes. What I saw before was a big girl trying to find love, what I see now is a big girl who once was a little girl with image issues trying to find love in another person instead of finding it within herself. In doing so she uses fat burners, diet pills and drinks; only to be disappointed that no change as occurred. How cliche right? But with all honesty its the truth, how many of us has the same story to tell? I know I do. As a full figured woman, I never thought about why I fight so hard to be heard, taken seriously, or even considered a factor. I now have an idea of why; (this is my opinion) I think its because as a full figured woman we are often pushed in to certain roles in life that don't necessarily fit who we are as people, and because of this we often become mean or bitter, some become desperate, needy, or clingy. These are roles we are stuck  in because those are the roles we see portrayed on tv or in real life; desperate women trying to fit in to a mold that isn't made for wide hips and thick thighs. Growing up I felt the same pressure to fit in, and in some ways I still feel the pressure; but it is a lot less, and I'm more excepting of who I am, and what I will possibly never be. Some ideas we may have of our selves isn't realistic to what our bodies can actually be. This is hard to face, but realism is a must! And I'm not in the habit of lying to anyone especially myself.  

Who do you remember in your growing up that gave a positive image of that a plus size man or woman should be?

Fashion is one way we've stepped out of the box with the stigma created around a sexier woman. In fashion I've found that I was sexy, expressive, desired, and flirtatious (well I'm naturally flirtatious anyway!); but the personality and confidence really comes out when your comfortable with who and what you are. How do you feel when your all done up and sexy?

Recently, being a bigger woman doesn't get the bad press it use to. Now we are the lead actresses, the love interests, as well as the best friends and mothers. We have really made strides in recent years and became the new "it" girls of society, IT TOOK LONG ENOUGH! How have you evolved? Can you approach someone and start a conversation or give a flirtatious eye to a gorgeous man/woman across the room? These are some things that come with growing up & evolving into a you that you want to be without the pressure of society constantly making comments on what you can't be.

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 HOW HAVE YOU EVOLVED?

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Dating the Voluptuous way: How curvy women should dress for a day or night out on the town!

YES! I'm absolutely going to go there! Dating is hard enough without adding the prep time it takes to get ready for it, but when you also add to the equation being plus sized it takes the "Dating Game" to a new level entirely.

The first date can make or break a possible future relationship, so it's important to identify whether or not your comfortable with this person in a setting were it will be the two of you and no other daters (double dating), or group setting. If you can, find out what type of date your going out on so that dressing for the occasion will be as effortless as possible. Not only will knowing ahead of time give you an edge, but it will also provide you with back up conversation material should you run out of things to talk about. But if your date is cute, articulate, and knowledgeable trust me you should not be lacking in the communication department. But should you find that they're all looks and no substance cut and run ASAP! Because there's nothing worst that a cute DULL date; whose only conversation is about me, myself, & I.

For a casual date: whether it be two people or a group, I would recommend a versatile flowing top maybe a solid color; something not too busy, a slim cute pair of jeans (to show off your shape or your hour glass shape), and a cute flat or booties to complement with limited accessories. It's best to stick to earrings and bangles to draw attention to your face and hands. Go light on the makeup, your date shouldn't be tempted to use a butter knife to chisel the foundation off of your face!

For a lunch date: I suggest to try and be dressy casual. That way you will be prepared for any lunch setting; wether it be in a bistro, a deli, a cafe, or a hot dog in the park; always put your best foot forward. P.S. Wear comfy shoes nothing too over the top that screams expensive & uncomfortable. That way if you two go for a walk you won't be unpleasant because your feet hurt. And we ALL know that when our feet starts to hurt the date or occasion is pretty much over.

For a beach or boardwalk date: Humm?That's a little more playful, so something light and airy would work best on this date. Possible a breathable cotton top, a crop pant or Capri, and a comfy light weight sneaker like Toms or a wedge. Little to no accessories and a light handbag if needed. On a beach date its likely that you will be out in the sun a majority of the time; so light clothing is essential. Also, there are plenty of boardwalk activities to do so wearing pants are a must! This date should be really fun so you can be sure there will be no awkward silences between you. Makeup should be minimal, and sun screen a must.

Now the date I know you've been waiting for the " Dinner Date" : This date is the most important date of all the dates previous. On this date there are no distractions. No friends, activities, or interruptions. This is when you really show who you are, and this is your chance to really WOW your date! When dressing show your personality; be classic but memorable. If wearing something black, be sure that your jewelry & accessories including your shoes stands out and brightens your ensemble. For your make up bring the attention to your eyes and mouth. You should always want to hold the attention there so that during conversation you'll be able to gage their reactions.

Over all, dating when with a great person can be a memorable experience or a disaster waiting to happen; but whatever the outcome please believe that you will be the best part of it! As always stay beautiful, confident, sexy, and full figured!!

Until next time, leave any questions, comments, or concerns below. Or LIKE Fashion Plus on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/FashionPlusBlog or email me at fabulouslyp@gmail.com