Bodacious Brides!

Kelly Rowland isn't the only lucky lady getting married, watch out for the THICK brides! Yes ladies, the day we all look forward to...DUAL INCOME otherwise known as getting married. There are so many details to consider, and loads of wrong turns that can be made. How do we avoid all this? Simply by getting a wedding planner, but if your like me and have a budget that's NOT an option. What's a bride to do?

First of all get your head in the game! This is not a problem but a challenge, a conundrum is you will; that must be solved before the big day. First pick your date, what do you see when you envision your wedding? Are you outside, inside, spring time, summer time, or fall? The date you pick correlates with the season and affects your choice of dress for you and your wedding party. 

Next, choose your colors. Big girls, we can wear any color we want, just make sure it suits you or your

wedding party. Also, who says the bride has to wear white? White is traditionally for virgins, let's keep it
100; most of us are not virgins we just keep the tradition going. You can be adventurous with the color scheme to make a truly unique vision come to life. 

The next focus should be on your venue. Besides finding the perfect dress, the venue is the second hardest task of putting together a wedding. You have to decide if you want the reception to be in same place as the ceremony or travel to two separate places.  Keep in mind separate places means SEPARATE deposits. By choosing different areas you will be spending more money, but if it can't be avoided then a woman's got to do, what a woman's got to do!

Then, you want to focus on all the small things that can get lost in the chaos of planning a wedding. Like for example, deciding how to style your hair. If your an anal bride (LOL) you would also choose how you'd like your wedding party to style their hair also. Sometimes you can leave stuff like this to chance, but WHY?

  Also, don't forget shoes and accessories, and the all important Wedding Night Lingerie.This is the night to let all your inhibitions run FREE, your with your life partner, so there is no 
Here are a few thangs that can get the party started real quick:

Lastly, ladies say YES to the dress! with all the different selections out in the bridal world it can be more than
overwhelming to decide on the dress that will be timeless, elegant, and memorable. As a plus size women, I refuse to stick with the same boxy design that most luscious size ladies do. I would want something that reflects my personality, pushes the envelope of traditional thinking, and of course is drop dead sexy! Check out some dress choices that I thought would suit every type of bride, from traditional to over the top!

 As as you search for dresses remember everything isn't for everybody, LIKE THIS...

 

And PLEASE remember this! Spanx or any other shaping garment can help hid what you don't want people to see, and accentuate what you do!

Any questions, comments, or concerns please leave me a comment below! As always, STAY BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT, AND ABOVE ALL SEXY! 

XOXO!

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Are your lips worth a thousand words?

Make sure that whatever you have to say is worth listening to. So ask yourself this, what is it that you want to say?

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Love, Sex & Relationships: How did I hook up with YOU!

Hello Dolls! How long has it been since you've been on a date? If ever? A lot of full figured women get into relationships and completely skip the dating part. In doing that we don't get to know the person were with, then have the nerve to be surprised when they play us out or push us to the left. That kind of dating isn't really dating and we as full figured men/women have to be careful of who we let into our space.

How many or your relationships end with you wondering how the hell you got into them in the first place? GUILTY! I've definitely been in some questionable relationships and after it was over I couldn't figure out for the life of me how I got in it in the first place. As a rule a rule I NEVER date in the winter time. I know your looking at this like...Yup! I knew she wasn't wrapped too tight. And you maybe right; but feel me on this. Most tired, good for nothing men prey on full figured women or any woman really in the winter time. Why? I 'll tell you why, because summer is over; so that means PLAY TIME is over too. So, now these "men" have to find a winter time boo to be hugged up with to get through the winter. For example, a plus size women is good for this type of guy, because were considered to be motherly, keep a clean house(well, most of us!), and be good cooks(again, most of us!), and be good lovers. Now, how some of this is said to be true of women, plus size women are more vulnerable because of "low self esteem" that some can carry from previous relationships. Not just with men, but people in general.

With that being said; ladies you, we, us have to be more cautious of who we allow in our lives, bedrooms, and YES checking accounts! Some of you ladies go crazy and give a dudes access to your car (knowing he doesn't have a license), bank accounts, credit cards then get a rude awakening when as soon as SPRING comes in he tells you that he needs space; and your smothering him. After that what happens? Your left tired, lonely, angry, BROKE, and a mess! Not everyone does this but some females do. Some of you shy away from your friends for this guy and put him first even when you know he puts you last. Now baby, is that the kind of relationship you really want. And what's worse is after spring/summer is over GUESS WHO is ringing your phone off the HOOK? Sad isn't it?

when  issues like this happens some of us measure ourselves against another women. This has to stop! Were all unique and have that extra special something that we bring to the table. Our abilities, strengths and weaknesses are different; and so is our beauty inside and out! KNOW YOUR WORTH!



So, how do we fix it? Work on you first, understand your own needs and wants. That will make it easier for you to spot a Bulls**t artist when you see one. Keep busy and focused on work, school, family, friends, because in the end those are the people who are going to hold you down when rough times happen.Get together with your girlfriends and have a girls night in/out. Doing that will take your mind off the BUFFOONERY that occurred prior. I know its hard but try to keep yourself in balance as much as possible. If your balance things won't stress you out as much and you will be able to make judgements or decisions with a clear conscience and a present mind.


As always stay BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT, & SEXY!


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FASHION REWIND: Style repeats that has lost it's style & new ways to spin a old item

Hello Dolls! I've been waiting anxiously to see what new tips and tricks full figured retailers are going to come up with for the 2013 spring season only to see a lot of the same style repeats from seasons past. Don't get me wrong some styles are classics that never go out, but others are also classics meaning old and tired. How do we spot the difference? Easy, look in your closet and if you have the exact same design from last season and see it coming out for a a new season just in a a different cut or color; then baby you have your self a STYLE REPEAT!

From Marc Jacobs spring 2013

You might see colors and lines like this one for the Marc Jacobs spring collection. I know what your thinking. Your thinking he doesn't make anything for plus sizes; and you are right. But my point is that this style has been done and re-done too many times to count. So if a major label like this is doing it, why not a full figured label? Honestly, shop some of your favorite stores and see what turns up. Maybe a few new items but all in all it's mostly items you already have in your closet.

Available at fashiontofigure.com

   Dresses Like the one fits the mold on a new spin on a the classic little black dress. This dress called Take the Plunge available by Fashion to Figure accentuates curves and gives a plunging neckline (which is my go to favorite neckline) with a mesh like cover that showcases a full figured women's cleavage. This is the type of dress a plus size women can wear that she will feel comfortable and sexy in without being to risque, but of course you want to push the envelope just a bit so the back of the dress is is the same mesh like see through lining.

This coat by Ashley Stewart is quickly becoming one of my favorite items for the new season. It flatter a full body and has a great blending of fabrics to give a women that chic look that we all want. For the transition from winter to spring this coat looks as if it can give the versatility that's needed, because you never know what mother nature has in store for you.

Ladies seriously its not what you wear (most of the time), but how you wear it, how it makes you feel, and the confidence you get from looking and feeling voluptuous.

Where are some of your favorite places to shop? Visit them when the new merchandise comes in try not to purchase items that are similar to the ones in your closet. Were all guilty of is sometimes ladies were so caught up in being EMOTIONAL SHOPPERS that we buy things we already have. What's an emotional shopper? That's when we buy things because we want something quick or just because it fits. Tell the truth! How many of use have had bad days at work, home, relationships, etc. and were in need of retail therapy?  Someone or something gets on our nerves and we run to the closest mall to sooth the pain. Doing this not only results in BAD fashion decisions, but it can put a hurting on your wallet and as MOST of us know money isn't as abundant as it use to be; so we can't afford to over spend on under performing clothing. When you feel the need to splurge try doing it on items that can transform your look, and if there are things you need to buy make sure its comparable with your everyday as well as your special occasion items.

Have you got a story? We all have one the important thing is that we keep telling and writing it. How else can we move pass the stereo type of a plus size, full figured or phat woman? The worlds worst judge is yourself, so on this blog that's what were going to work on through fashion, body image, perception, and anything else that will help us to be better people. Stay Beautiful, Confident, & Sexy!






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Growing up full figured: The Evolution of the big girl

This subject has been on my mind for quite some time. I've had trouble with this all my life. I never knew how effected I was until I started to recognize the patterns in the relationships I had or the choices I made (especially in men!). Honestly, it started with the movie Phat Girls that recently came on tv.  Not that I've never seen the movie before; it's more like I watched it with new eyes. What I saw before was a big girl trying to find love, what I see now is a big girl who once was a little girl with image issues trying to find love in another person instead of finding it within herself. In doing so she uses fat burners, diet pills and drinks; only to be disappointed that no change as occurred. How cliche right? But with all honesty its the truth, how many of us has the same story to tell? I know I do. As a full figured woman, I never thought about why I fight so hard to be heard, taken seriously, or even considered a factor. I now have an idea of why; (this is my opinion) I think its because as a full figured woman we are often pushed in to certain roles in life that don't necessarily fit who we are as people, and because of this we often become mean or bitter, some become desperate, needy, or clingy. These are roles we are stuck  in because those are the roles we see portrayed on tv or in real life; desperate women trying to fit in to a mold that isn't made for wide hips and thick thighs. Growing up I felt the same pressure to fit in, and in some ways I still feel the pressure; but it is a lot less, and I'm more excepting of who I am, and what I will possibly never be. Some ideas we may have of our selves isn't realistic to what our bodies can actually be. This is hard to face, but realism is a must! And I'm not in the habit of lying to anyone especially myself.  

Who do you remember in your growing up that gave a positive image of that a plus size man or woman should be?

Fashion is one way we've stepped out of the box with the stigma created around a sexier woman. In fashion I've found that I was sexy, expressive, desired, and flirtatious (well I'm naturally flirtatious anyway!); but the personality and confidence really comes out when your comfortable with who and what you are. How do you feel when your all done up and sexy?

Recently, being a bigger woman doesn't get the bad press it use to. Now we are the lead actresses, the love interests, as well as the best friends and mothers. We have really made strides in recent years and became the new "it" girls of society, IT TOOK LONG ENOUGH! How have you evolved? Can you approach someone and start a conversation or give a flirtatious eye to a gorgeous man/woman across the room? These are some things that come with growing up & evolving into a you that you want to be without the pressure of society constantly making comments on what you can't be.

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 HOW HAVE YOU EVOLVED?

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The mirror has two faces: Which one do you believe?

Hello Dolls! I know you guys are looking at this image saying ok, what's this about? Well, I've had something on my mind I want to share with all of you; it's something we all struggle with, but most people don't talk about it or ignore it. I know because I'm guiltily of ignoring it myself. First I want to say I'm no doctor, therapist, or anything like that; I just talk to you guys from a real place of what I've seen, heard, or experienced for myself. Can I do that? Is that alright? Well, let's get started!
The two faces of a mirror, I know y'all like; what two faces? When I look I only see one, and that's the fabulous me! And your right there is only one face and it's yours, but when I say two faces; what I mean is the face you see in the mirror, and the one you see in your MIND. What I'm really talking about is perception or body image perception. I've notice that some of us don't believe what we see in the mirror because our minds are giving us totally different information. We apply how we feel to how we look, thus using our outer appearance to reflect what we think we look like; and this simply isn't true (not in all cases, but a good majority). Like I said I'm guilty of the same misconception as most so I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer, I just want to be real with you.
How can we fix this? By being honest with ourselves about our appearances and how we appear to other people? Did you ever try asking somebody who knows you pretty well about how they perceive you? Well, you should if you didn't the results could shock you. Plus size ladies were affected by this most of all that's why we seem to miss the mark when trying to reinvent ourselves; a majority of the time we don't know where to start so we go for the easiest mark. Fashion magazines, clothing stores that don't go up to our size, wear items six sizes too small; all in an effort to feel better about our own perception of ourselves. And why? It does nothing but stress us out later if we feel like we don't measure up. Our minds are the "I can wear that beast" and we feed it by feeding into the mainstream idea of what a "woman" should look like. That 'beast' tell us we can do something and we believe it that's the minds perception. Then we do it and look in the mirror at our handiwork and we look a HOT MESS! That my lovely is the mirrors perception. The mirror is what's real; the mind is what is fooling us every time. I guess that's were we get the phrase GO AND GET YOUR MIND RIGHT! Because it can truly be the worst if that's how we continue to go through life.
Do some soul searching and really find out what it is that's causing you to believe a lie. You have to approve of yourself before anyone else can approve of you. Which mirror would you chose? Until next time my loves! Stay beautiful, confident, sexy, and above all plus size and loving it!


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The Oh, I can do that girl!: styles so close they are simililar...Wait! They are exactly the same!

Do you know her?...She knows you...Watches your every move...Until it happens...You know what I'm talking about...She'll wear exactly what you wear! Ahhhh!

Divas! Have any of you been in this awkward situation when someone close to you, or a random person you might have said; hi to, is the exact copy or you? It's strange but it does happen. We full figured women work so hard to establish our own personal styles that every now and then styles cross paths, and that leads to disaster! The worst thing any woman could imagine style wise, is that another woman is wearing the same outfit as them; and even worse IT COULD FIT BETTER! This happen when you have friends and/or associates of similar size (sometimes, not always) that try to out due the other. How can you protect yourself? First, if you have a suspicion that someone you know has a tendency to wear the same item you do, make a conscious effort to not tell them what you want to wear ahead of time; especially to an event. A Diva more inclined to morph into you will most likely try to some how out due you and try to take your individuality away. Second, try not to shop together. I know that's pushing it! Women like to shop together give and give advice or opinions on an outfit choice, but when ATTENTION is on the line best of friends can become the worst of enemies. Have you ever had a friend who told you that you look good in a outfit (I know I have) knowing that you looked a HOT MESS? Yes ladies! The picture is starting to become a little more clearer isn't it? Not everyone is guilty of a crime like this, but lets be real it has happened before and there is nothing wrong with wanting to make an effort to stop the messiness. The next thing you want to do is find something that will stick out about you, like I've said before play up your "talents" so to speak; there is nothing more sexy than a woman with confidence. When you have confidence it shows, when your conscious about things that are troubling you of course that will show as well. If you found yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable remove yourself from it or change the mood to suit your favor. You are too beautiful to ever be in the shadows, go out on a limb and step it up. Try looks that are not the "norm" for you and see how they make you feel. Divas, I don't give advice to things I don't do my self or make an effort to do. I'm just the same as you, a full figured woman trying to find and keep great personal style. By talking with you ladies I have found a comfort in the plus size community that I didn't have growing. Believe me I've made some big mistakes, but it's all a learning process; and I'm learning with you. As always stay beautiful, confident, and full figured!

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